Wednesday 14 January 2015

DOP COMEDY PART-2

1.  Sir, We have received more than 2600 eMO’s as pension payment.  Every eMO’s are more than Rs 4000 in value.  How can we able to pay the eMO within a short time as 15 eMO’s if invoiced itself will count as 60,000 /-.  We cannot entrust more than this to Postman a day.  This may take around 15 days to finish, with two beats, at least.


Ans. eMO’s are sent for a pension payment.  You have to payout the maximum amount per day so that the maximum numbers of eMO’s are paid daily.   We are regularly monitoring the progress in the website, so that all eMO’s are paid within 7 days of booking.  So entrust maximum eMO’s to Postman and make the payments immediately.  It is also warned that office should not keep cash more than the authorized minimum and the postman is given cash not more than as prescribed in the rules.  Any deviation from rules will invite strict action.  Though you may strive hard to pay maximum number of eMO’s so that it is totally paid over by 7 days.

 (Comment by Santa: As if we read a prayer “Lokakshema”: “loka samasta sukhino bhavantu…  ha . ha.”)
2.  Sir, Our building is not having proper toilet facilities.  One problem is that our Toilet is situated at a place distant from the office building.  The toilet itself is about 200 meters away, it is causing difficulty while working to use the necessary facility.

Ans. It is not a problem, Office has to function whole day, since facility of Toilet is only required sometimes during a day, you need to manage the needs by using it during the lunch time or at the closing hours only. 

 (Comment by Santa: Thank God, now god has created species in the shape of postal officials who are given the boon to do nature’s calls only at lunch time   ha. ha.)

3.  Sir, what is the actual nomenclature of the Post of Technical person in our Department.  We are been addressed with several names of cadre in various memos and letters that we receive from your end.  Kindly clarify the same please.

Ans.  Technical persons are called by various names depending on the situation.  When installations of softwares, troubleshooting and TA bills submission are concerned, they are been addressed as System Administrators, When there is assistance provided to offices and Superintendents they are termed as System Assistants, When they develop for our software’s they get the name as Software Developers, When the Divisional level works they are called as Dy System Managers and so on. When it comes to work they are bound by 24 Hours working rule.  When it comes to paying salary and giving Travel allowances only, they are treated as Postal Assistant.  We, recon them as “work horse” of Department, since they contribute our Department both by health and wealth by meeting the travel expense from their pocket and also by working beyond office hours. 

(Comment by Santa: Good god they didn’t name them as Stupid Assistants or something like that, for the assignments they undertake.  A new cadre can also be Shramdaan Assistant)


4.  Sir, lot number of systems has been reduced due to cleaning activities and removal as e-waste.  Kindly review the available systems so that newer ones are supplied.

Ans.  You are hereby informed that you should see how good our offices are now after the e-Waste and old systems were removed.  Eventhough systems are not available at offices for working purpose, the customers will be very happy to note that our offices are looking good and clean.  Customers will be very happy to see the how beautiful and neat, our postoffices are when they wait more time at postoffices for getting their required works done.

(Comment by Santa: As if we are maintaining monuments of beauty ha ha...  Both work and tidiness should be in coordination to each other, isn’t? )


5.  Sir, We are not able to work due to problem with the Server not getting the network connectivity.  SA’s have been informed but they say that they still on the way, walking towards bus stop from an office.  Customers are waiting, Kindly do the needful.

Ans.  You are directed to ensure that all customers may be kept waiting without any complaints and in the meantime you can canvas the waiting customers for opening of new Savings account and Philatelic Deposit schemes.  If you get more time, then canvas about PLI and RPLI schemes.  If still time is sufficient then you advertise the essence of “My stamps”, so that the customers are kept entertained and not bored waiting like this.  You can in between - ask how neat and clean the office is from outside!

(Comment by Santa: SPM will be a fortunate if he happens to escape from the “delight” of customers.  SPM can be trained for how to escape from horrible situations like these ..ha. ha.

For SA’s it is good that a proposal for a new training for walking fast and if needed sprinting to offices through a new physical education program can be introduced.  Now, since they are going by Bus, they have to practice not only walking fast, but jumping into Bus alsol, so physical exercise is necessary to keep them fit   ha. ha.)


6.  Sir, At our office, there are shortage of furniture, The SPM chair is broken and two of the Postman chairs also requires re-caning.  Kindly cause some remedial action so that the seating arrangement is done normally.

Ans. There are no good chairs even in this office of ours. No funds are allotted to purchase the furniture.  You are directed to forward an explanation as to why the SPM Chair has damaged.  You may also take explanations from Postman as to how the chairs got complaint and not keeping it tidy, requiring the Department to spend for repairs for it.

(Comment by Santa: Thank God, it was not asked to sit on a bench or floor itself ha.  Ha !!!)

7.  Sir, We are recently converted to remitting the cash surplus and receipts to Bank.  This is to inform you that there is only limited number of bus, and in   that, one goes at the morning and the same bus arrives at the evening, which is having bus stops near to Bank, from this office.  Kindly allow to charge the auto fare.

Ans. You are hereby instructed that the remittance to Bank may be done during the time when Bus starts service at morning.  You may go at the morning to remit the cash by bus and then after finishing your duty at the office, in the evening you can bring cash from the Bank as during morning time bus is available to Bank and at the evening time bus is available for return.  Auto charge is disallowed.

(Comment by Santa: India Post and Physics “It is impossible to simultaneously locate the position and momentum of a subatomic particle - Heisenberg uncertainty principle” the idea is “you can never be sure of anything”)


8.  Sir, The recent supply of Papers and Stickers of MPCM and SB are of very low quality.  The stickers supplied are not able to tear apart after one transaction and the Papers are so thin that it is getting torn in the hands of Postman and even the Daily accounts are getting torn at reaching the Head office.

Ans.  The Papers and stickers are purchased from Stores Depot, they are purchasing as a bulk lot taking the lowest amount of quotation received.  This time we got the appreciation from our higher authorities that we could save a large amount, as this time the lowest quoted amount was much below our expectations.  You are instructed to use the stickers and Papers mildly, so that it is not torn in your hands or Postman.  H.O ‘s are also instructed to use a mild approach with Daily Accounts so that it is not torn there also.


(Comment by Santa: Sometimes the roll paper which comes for spreading on top of the table during lunch and dine is also very cheap, can be the next good choice for printing paper needs  ha .ha.)

DOP COMEDY PART-1

Question 1:  Sir, our systems are so old, they are still Pentium machines with DDR-1 RAM which is outdated and supplied during year 2004. Kindly supply new ones.

Answer: We are glad that our systems are still running more than 10 years now; we expect the systems to run many more years.


Question 2:  Sir, our printer are not working and the print outs are not legible , kindly arrange for service.. please.

Answer: Maintain your printer well, it shouldn’t have complaints.  Servicing of printer is expensive so do adjust with the printer condition as it is.


Question 3:  Sir, our System is having only 256 MB of RAM, kindly upgrade the RAM to 1GB for smooth running of system and software, please.

Answer: Department cannot spend money like that in upgrading, do practice to work with whatever speed the computers are working. 


Question 4:  Sir, There are lot of service pension eMOs and welfare pension eMOs to be printed. It is very difficult to print the eMOs with Dot-matrix printers as it usually takes a fair bit of time for printing even one eMO.

Answer: Providing Laser printer to all delivery offices is not under consideration.  There are about 2000 eMO’s still pending. You are hereby instructed to take all the eMO printouts today itself.  We are considering to buy one Laser printer after meeting of expenditure committee, such that the same is carried from one office to another office for printing of eMOs.


Question 5:  Sir, the offices are not supplied with Systems having Windows 7 Operating system or no license has been purchased.

Answer: Windows 7 may be installed and compliance reported.


Question 6:  Sir, Our handheld scanner is not working so it is very difficult to invoice the articles in Postman, Speednet and Despatch modules.

Answer: Don’t find shortcuts to all needs; try to do work by typing all the barcodes manually.  Expense should be kept at the minimum.


Question 7:  Sir, The UPS supply is not available as the batteries are not replaced.  Server and other systems are getting shutdown whenever power failure happens.

Answer: We are awaiting the orders of supply for replace the faulty batteries.  It may take probably 1 year to finalize the tender and to supply them.  It is the duty of SA that the Server and systems are working properly.  Any problems arising from the office having been said that the office is not having UPS supply will be viewed seriously.


Question 8:  Sir, One System is having problem with SMPS, Kindly arrange a technical person to check up and replace.

Answer: Why the systems are losing SMPS.  You are directed to report this office as to what reasons the SMPS is not working.
Question 9:  Sir, After SIFY migration, Sub Offices are facing network issues, Virus problems and slowness in working in general.  Kindly inform as to what action to be done.

Answer: SIFY migration is important, Offices need to adjust to new changes, when network and systems are slow, the officials have to work fast and complete the works.  We cannot inform our higher authorities about the slowness and virus problems.  SIFY migration has to be completed at the earliest, we have been forwarding lot of emails one after another as to how to install the antivirus software and importance of antivirus software but no other information is available to this office.


Question 10:  Sir, In one office the detail of BPCOD booking data has not come.  We have given resend request but still no information has been received. No booking information is seen in the web tracking.

Answer: The office of delivery has to take the responsibility for anything related to BPCOD, either you call the office or do anything to dispose the BPCOD at the earliest.  PTC has informed that there is no software complaint so if data is not available in web tracking, call the SA and solve the software complaint.


Question 11:  Sir , In one office the keyboard is not working today, kindly accord sanction for a new one please.

Answer: Problem may be traced and find reasons the keyboard has stopped working.  Send three competitive price of keyboards so as to consider the same or not.


Question 12:  Sir, One printer at office is not printing legibly, the head seems having problems, kindly arrange checking for it.

Answer: Printer heads are very costly; the expenditure is more so it is not possible at the moment for replacement of costly items.  If for reasons prints are not clear you may write on the receipt and issue!!!!!. 


Question 13:  Sir, AMC for servers and printers have expired, how to manage the complaints in such cases.


Answer: It was informed by the Regional office that when complaints of Server arise, first email this office regarding the not working of server.  This office will forward it to the Regional office with a copy to the firm.  Firm will email the Regional office for confirmation and approval of the works, after receiving back the work sheet and approval of confirmation, the service firm will attend the complaints in order of receipt of approvals.  All complaints should reach before 4 PM on Friday